HUGO CHAVEZ SAY WHAT?!?!?
KEEP AN EYE ON THIS CALLBACK TO THE LAST TWO SEASONS OF THE “TRUMP FUCKS AMERICA” SHOW (COMPLETE WITH SHOCKING TWIST!)
HAPPY JANUARY SIXTH, EVERYBODY! I wasn’t gonna do another political column right now, I swear. But then I looked at the news. And I looked at the date. And I went, “Ah, well, fuck it. Kinda outta my hands.”
But what really sealed the deal was this amazing prognostication from Marc Elias, who some of you may recognize as Trump’ s least-favorite attorney in the world. Cuz the second he said it, I wanted to slap myself silly for not having thought of it first.
Have a watch, won’t you? It’s a mere twelve-anna-half minutes of pure revelation, courtesy of Brian Tyler Cohen’s nice YouTube channel!
To summarize, for the non-visually-inclined: amongst the many perks of kidnapping the President of Venezuela (distracting from Epstein, stealing their oil, opening the door to total hemispheric conquest, Epstein, oil, acclimating us to having the US military showing up everywhere to terrorize everyone, oil, Epstein, breaking up NATO, Epstein, Epstein, giving tax breaks to billionaires and corporations, Epstein, Epstein, giving China a clear shot at seizing Taiwan, oil, bottomless billion dollar graft, more oil, selling out Ukraine to fucking Vladimir Putin, Epstein, Epstein, Epstein, Epstein, oil, oil, oil, oil, and turning a blind eye to the thousand-plus girls and young women forced into sexual slavery, so that they could massage oils into the rancid flesh of Jeffrey Epstein), there’s one other possibility Marc would like you to consider.
To whit: remember what instigated Trump’s attempt to overthrow the government last time, urging his drones to attack the Capitol? It was his claim that – among other things – Dominion voting machines were rigged to throw the election to Joe Biden.
And whose technology was allegedly used to yank away Trump’s throne?
HUGO CHAVEZ! That’s who! And who the fuck was Hugo Chavez? The long-dead former president of – wait for it – VENEZUELA!
So as the Republican Party desperately tries to stave off their imminent ass-stomping in the midterms this fall, how great is it to have the current Venezuelan head in custody in Brooklyn, where he can be pressured – as a condition of his (possible) reduced sentencing – that yes, Venezuela TOTALLY helped rig the election for Joe Biden in 2020!
It’s the kind of leverage our great Cheater-In-Chief tried to exercise on the then-mostly-unknown new President of Ukraine, Volodymyr Zelensky, with that “perfect phone call” urging him to come up with dirt on Biden, care of Hunter’s laptop. It didn’t work last time – shit, it got him impeached – but it sure helps explain why Trump doesn’t give a fuck about Ukraine.
Point being: while our decaying wannabe dictator will throw up a trillion smokescreens between now and his eventual fall, don’t be surprised when Hugo Chavez and those Dominion voting machines come back up this fall, and again in ‘28, when he again claims that the elections are being stolen.
Just sayin’! I LOVE YOU!!! Don’t buy the bullshit!
Yer pal in the trenches,
Skipp
Mouth agape. Unbefuckinglivable
The guiltist man alive.