“OF COURSE, YOU REALIZE THIS MEANS WAR!”

THE LAST OF MY SUGGESTED HALLOWEEN TREATS FOR THIS YEAR (NOW WITH E-Z IDENTOGRAPHIC CROWDINALIA!)

Because I’m a horrible Halloween slacker – I ALREADY CONFESSED, two columns back! – it’s taken me all the way to the very last minute to recommend my other big artistic contribution to the Halloween canon. 

Yes, I’m talkin’ about TALES OF HALLOWEEN, the sweet anthology film I worked on back in 2015. But which still, swear to God, feels like only yesterday. 

This zesty little labor of love was the product of The October Society, a fancy name for a bunch of Los Angeles horror directors who were sitting around one night, shooting the shit, when the idea came up to do a fun anthology film. One of them was my wonderful then-directing partner, Andrew Kasch. 

The next thing you know, Axelle Carolyn (SOULMATE) and Mike Mendez (THE CONVENT) took the project to Epic Pictures, which had just worked with Mike on the hilarious BIG-ASS SPIDER. With Axelle’s then-husband Neil Marshall (THE DESCENT) already signed on, it took no time whatsoever to add Darren Lynn Bousman (REPO: THE GENETIC OPERA), Dave Parker (THE HILLS RUN RED), Adam Gierasch (FRACTURED), Paul Solet (GRACE), and Ryan Schifrin (NO REST FOR THE WICKED) to the roster of directors. And when Joe Bezos (BLISS) dropped out, we were lucky enough to get muh man Lucky McKee (MAY) to hop onboard at the last minute.

To my great good fortune, Andrew was tenacious in demanding that I co-direct with him. And that’s how I wound up in The October Society, too!

TALES OF HALLOWEEN premiered on Netflix in 2015 as one of the hits of the season, and ran there for a couple of years before moving to Amazon Prime, where it now resides for free. Which means it’s easy as pie for anyone with Amazon Prime (which is to say, anyone in the known universe) to slap this up on your screen of choice RIGHT THIS SECOND, IF YOU WANNA!

And if you do – and you hang in a little more than halfway – you’ll be treated to the crazy little mamma jamma that Andrew and I whipped up for you. 

It’s called THIS MEANS WAR. And it concerns the bitter rivalry between Boris (Dana Gould) – who lovingly arrays his front yard with elegant, elaborate props evoking the vintage Universal horror films of the 1930’s – and the extremely Rob Zombulated Dante (James Duval), who prefers his festive holiday displays festooned with more chainsaws, disembodied boobs, dead babies, and intestinal streamers. 

So, ya know, it’s just a matter of taste. But some people take their aesthetic predilections more seriously than others. And the next thing ya know…THERE’S BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!

We had an incredible time, shooting this eight-minute segment over the course of two lunatic days (with a couple sneaky hours in between). But the big surprise was the size of the costumed crowd who came out to cheer on the slaughter.

So here, for the first time in Substack history, is a meticulous pictographic roster of (almost) every single lunatic bastard who showed up to be part of our art-o-tainment event. Many of whom you may recognize. All of whom you would want to know.

So have fun picking out your favorites from the crowd. And then GO HAVE FUN WATCHING THE MOVIE!!! It is my Halloween gift to you.

Yer happtastical pal in the trenches,

Skipp